Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
