i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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