when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize