She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
