Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
