yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
