1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
