I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
