I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Still dying that you shit outside
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
