his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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