some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
