Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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