Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
third nipple confirmed
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize