Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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