I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
