am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
