Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
