i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
