They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
