just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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