Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
