It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
