No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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