fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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