come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize