People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
