Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
