OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
