Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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