it was like eating out sand paper
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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