I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
