I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just sent this text using only my big toe
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
