seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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