Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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