my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Alive.
So much puke
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
