If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize