i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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