NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
