You made me cry and you don't even care
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
