just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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