Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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