Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
