Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
