question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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