Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
