New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize