I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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