why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i think i just lost a toe
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
