people are starting to question the shark bite story
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
