Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
