And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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