Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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