Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why did my mother make you get naked?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
