Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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