Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
