I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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