Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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