Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
