I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
